Teen Turmoil Analysts Gifts

"My boss is always telling me what to do."

Rage.

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

An English and French student converse.

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

"Have you tried oversharing deeply personal thoughts on social media to help with the phone addiction?"

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

'Don't try and act cool by saying it's the blood of the undead, we both know it's acne.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

'First it's surveillance cameras in schools and now my mom wants to be my friend on Facebook, so she can check up on me.''

'Where did we go wrong...?'

"Look dude, if you like a girl...you gotta move fast!"

ZBIGNIEW BREZINSKI'S TIPS FOR TEENS

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"Woke up late this afternoon, I've got the teenage blues…"

'Sure he's cute, smart and athletic. But my parents would approve of him and that wouldn't work for me.'

That's when I decided why should I care

Love your new top! Twig! It's hideous. Why are you fake-friending Eliza? It's not fake. She's a morning person. I need an a.m. pick-me-up! I'm not good enough for you? You don't drive past my house on your way to school. Hey, Jan! Nice bag!

"Cheer up. Your dad had so many pimples in high school, we played connect-the-dots on his yearbook photo."

Out too late? Call curfew beaters!

"I think I'm maturing...today Tommy Jenkins punched me in the arm, and I liked it!"

"No Justin. I'm saving myself for college."

"Baldo, what would you do if there was a girl who never left you alone?"

'It feels like days!'

'Do you have to be so bloody wonderful? I'd like something to kick against.'

'Hello Childline... my parents just don't rock.'

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