School Life Expert Gifts

'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

"That's Kevin, my security-guy."

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

Big Bang Theory.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

Caution May Contain Nuts.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'