Student Life Expert Gifts

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Three more years of high school."

Yearbook

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'In general, do the right thing.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

Nervous Student

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Student Food Pyramid

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."