Bachelor Life Expert Gifts

'Thanks.'

Fart, barf, cough.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...Please stop the...'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

'What kind of...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'I was going to buy a hot tub.'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'I've got the iron.'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Dang.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Okey-doke,'

'You just grew three inches.'

'What's the special?'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

'This could be a new record!'

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

Deformed and damaged.

Cult films!

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

'What's the old saying...'

'Everyone abhors a know-it-all.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

'It's not much of a treasure: No wonder you're still single...'

Superman Heads Back To The Fridge