Bachelor Life Expert Gifts

'Thanks.'

Fart, barf, cough.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...Please stop the...'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

'What kind of...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'I was going to buy a hot tub.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'I've got the iron.'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

'Dang.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Tele-barketer.'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'What's the special?'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'Okey-doke,'

'You just grew three inches.'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

'Everyone abhors a know-it-all.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

Cult films!

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

Deformed and damaged.

'This could be a new record!'

'It's not much of a treasure: No wonder you're still single...'

Superman Heads Back To The Fridge

'And to think I got a dog to help me meet women'