Bachelor Life Enthusiast Gifts

"You figure it. We're not gay, we don't use drugs, and we still got it."

Bachelor expressing his opinion on children

'And that's why you're not going in to work today.'

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'Dang.'

'It's the guy code.'

'What size?'

'This could be a new record!'

'Okay. let's roll.'

'Oops.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'...Please stop the...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'What kind of...'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'I'm coping.'

Bachelor Cake

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Slow and hurl.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Tele-barketer.'

'I've got the iron.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'What's the special?'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'Okey-doke,'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

"How did you come to the conclusion that some people are better suited for single life?"

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'