Bachelor Enthusiast Gifts

'What's the old saying...'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'...Please stop the...'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

'What kind of...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Slow and hurl.'

Bachelor Cake

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'I'm coping.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'I've got the iron.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Dang.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

'What's the special?'

'Okey-doke,'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

'This could be a new record!'

Deformed and damaged.

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

Cult films!

"How did you come to the conclusion that some people are better suited for single life?"

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'