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'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

"That's Kevin, my security-guy."

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"Right...you're all in detention until we find out who put the chameleon on the tartan rug!"

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'