Educational Analyst Gifts

"While it's true most of my grades have gone down, most were on low volume."

Ethics exam cheater.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Culture Saturday

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'A thousand word report? How many words is that in text message?'

Books Providing Bright Idea

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'When did you last meet your targets?'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

A Brain Drain

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

New dunce caps

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'