Education System Analyst Gifts

Chris Woodhead.

Ethics exam cheater.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

Welcome back students.

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"You pay taxes to send me to school? Hey, that's where you can save money."

"There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how to implement the co-operative learning program!"

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

"Chris! You've just re-written the same paper you handed in yesterday!" "Well, you said to do it over again."

'Who wants to go to the library and bring back the underhead projector?'

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

'We have to pay back our loans?'

Suspension isn't Punishment

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"