School Security Pillows

"If you're not doing anything wrong, there's nothing to worry about."

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"He's a guard dog."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

No Soliciting

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Beware of Don"

Moulin Rouge Security

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Mou...Man trap!