School Report Card Fanatic Gifts

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'That's a relief! I thought he was as thick as three planks.'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

Olympic School

Rodney Krebs: Class Valedictorian or G.P.A. whore?

Strange that every teacher crossed out the original comment and wrote XLANT!

'I plead guilty.'

'I finally got a good one!'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'Sure the grades are bad, but on the bright side I'm achieving consistency in my academic brand.'

'I prefer to spend my time in less didactic pursuits.'