Report Card Reveler Gifts

'Let's see what we can get for these gold stars!'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."