Report Card Reveler Pillows

'Let's see what we can get for these gold stars!'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'