Report Card Trickster Pillows

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

Hit me.

"I just found out that, at this firm, I'm the queen of hearts."

"My teacher forgot to congratulate me on my great math grade. She was too busy calling Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

"But grades aren't the only way to measure learning outcomes."

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'