Report Card Trickster Gifts

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

Hit me.

Rudloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Goes Down in History.

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

"I just found out that, at this firm, I'm the queen of hearts."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"While it's true most of my grades have gone down, most were on low volume."

"My teacher forgot to congratulate me on my great math grade. She was too busy calling Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

"But grades aren't the only way to measure learning outcomes."