Report Card Jokers Gifts

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?"

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'Now, for the lighter side of the news'

Parent/Teacher conjugation

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"My teacher forgot to congratulate me on my great math grade. She was too busy calling Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

"As an artist, it's my job to capture the beauty and triumphs of everyday life."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'It's an obvious case of identity theft.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."