Report Card Warrior Gifts

"Psssst. Fix your report card?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"Yes, it's report card time again."

"I'm experiencing student burnout."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

Rudloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Goes Down in History.

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."