Report Card Challenger Gifts

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"Yes, it's report card time again."