Report Card Hero Gifts

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"I see you got an A+++ in science."