Report Card Hero Pillows

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'