Report Card Critic Gifts

"His grades are falling. Must be hanging out with the wrong crowd."

'Well, if you can't be an honor student, can't you at least cheat off one?'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Why are there performance standards for students and teachers - but none for politicians?'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'