Report Card Analyst Gifts

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"The sad thing is, if we make good grades, the teachers win."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

If you think it will help, yeah, lets hear your spin.

'The teacher thinks I'm good at putting thoughts into words. See where it says 'talks in class'?'

Teacher said the C's she put face up indicate slight improvement.

'The recession seems to have affected my grades.'

'This is just my part in the growing crisis in education.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's fake news."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'Mistakes were made...'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"