Report Card Expert Gifts

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."