Report Card Expert Gifts

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'