Report Card Enthusiast Gifts

Strange that every teacher crossed out the original comment and wrote XLANT!

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'Can you say 'try the patience of a saint' in a note from a public school?'

'I finally got a good one!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'