Report Card Detective Pillows

'Which do you want to look at first - my report card or one of yours I found in the attic?'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."