Report Card Woes Gifts

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"Hey, mom! That 'F' I got in history...my creative writing teacher read it and gave me an 'A'."