Report Card Reflections Gifts

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."