Report Card Day Gifts

'Spoiler alert! Below average.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'The numbers on my report card aren't good, but I question the school's methodology.'

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"

'It's not my fault. Bad grades wouldn't matter if I had been born rich.'

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"They pay a lot of money for you to do your homework, but I only get a smiley face."

"It seems as if I forgot history and I'm doomed to repeat it."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'At least you know I'm not cheating.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'Mistakes were made...'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'All A's and an F in penmanship. Have you ever thought about becoming a doctor?'

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Robert prays for the answers."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Don't worry, guys...when I explained failing to my teachers I kept your names out of it!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"Someday, our beautiful teacher will say those 3 magic words and make me the happiest guy on earth... 'you passed math.'"

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"It's not a bad report, Dad. I passed everything except chemistry."

"I'm smart, but not A, B, or C smart."

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

"Take away the D and the C minuses, and that's a darn fine report card, Dad."

"I may still get to watch TV, but I'll definitely lose control of the remote."