Receiving Report Card Gifts

"That's really bad. Tell your parents it's fake news."

"This isn't going to look good on my website."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."