Report Card Reflecter Gifts

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

'Straight A's. That means good.'

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'An F in English, a C- in history, a D in arithmatic, an A+ in Sex Education!'

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

"Are you sure you didn't just take my answers out of context?"