Report Card Reader Gifts

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'I'm so brilliant sometimes I find it hard to live with.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

'I never thought Ms. Wilson would use the letters of the alphabet against me.'

"This is going to be a bad one isn't it?"

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

''Excellent','excellent','a delight' - for heaven's sake, don't you ever feel like rebelling a bit?'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'