Report Card Readers Gifts

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"What - you got As in Maths, Nature, Science and English? Son, haven't you watched the news or looked online - if you want to succeed nowadays you have to be dumb as dirt!"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'