Report Card Recycler Gifts

"I wouldn't worry too much. She blitzed the field in the three legged race."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

Tree Funeral

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'We heat the entire building by burning resumes.'

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

Cardboard, Paper, Comics.

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

Newspapers discussing how they are made from recycled paper.

Interactive Trashcan.

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

Al's Computer Salvage.

Scrapyard Worker

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"