School Report Enthusiast Gifts

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'Please return my book report after you grade my work. I like to retain all the rights to my intellectual property.'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

'I got a B+ formy book report on 'Danger Mountain' by Warren Esterson. Not bad, considering there's no such book.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.

Rodney Krebs: Class Valedictorian or G.P.A. whore?

Strange that every teacher crossed out the original comment and wrote XLANT!

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

'This book report is as yet unrated....'

'I finally got a good one!'

"Here's my report card. If you have any questions I'll be sitting in the corner."

'You have vested interest in me. You should rescue yourself!'

"Here's my report card. You'll be glad to know passing math is now number one on my bucket list."

'I prefer to spend my time in less didactic pursuits.'

'Can you say 'try the patience of a saint' in a note from a public school?'

Scientists have confirmed that caffeine is either good or bad for you