School Reports Gifts

"I know my grades are straight 'Cs,' but don't I get some credit for consistency?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"It's my school report, I've redacted the bits that might make you feel uncomfortable."

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Mistakes were made...'

"After months of analysis, all departments have concluded when you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'You could give it to your mom with a huge Valentine card.'

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

"Here's my report card. If you have any questions I'll be sitting in the corner."

'But I don't need qualifications, daddy - I'm going to be a dumb blonde when I grow up!'

"Here's my report card. You'll be glad to know passing math is now number one on my bucket list."

'Can you say 'try the patience of a saint' in a note from a public school?'

'I prefer to spend my time in less didactic pursuits.'

'You have vested interest in me. You should rescue yourself!'

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

"The grades aren't my fault, Mom - The school has a failure of leadership."

"I'm looking for a Get Well card for my Mom. She's going to be sick when she sees my report card."

"I made a new year's resolution to bring home a report card I could be proud of, but Stephanie Hart wouldn't give me hers."

'Son, your marks stink. You're becoming a real indie-achiever. I'm proud of you!'