School Report Season Gifts

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'Their'll bee a reel seen when Dad gets a lode of this sea minus.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'

"Hey, mom! That 'F' I got in history...my creative writing teacher read it and gave me an 'A'."

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

"No, that's a happy face. I need you to go out there and put on a brave face."

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

'They kicked you out of the gifted class. You've been regifted.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Well, Timmy is a raven: they are always very smart! You being second is a great achievement!"

The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.