School Report Season Gifts

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

'Their'll bee a reel seen when Dad gets a lode of this sea minus.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'

"Hey, mom! That 'F' I got in history...my creative writing teacher read it and gave me an 'A'."

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"I must be out of memory"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Well, Timmy is a raven: they are always very smart! You being second is a great achievement!"

"No idea how I'm going to spin this."

"It's a note from my teacher...heavily redacted."

"No, that's a happy face. I need you to go out there and put on a brave face."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

'They kicked you out of the gifted class. You've been regifted.'