School Report Day Gifts

"I must be out of memory"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'It's not my fault. Bad grades wouldn't matter if I had been born rich.'

'I don't want to make you feel bad, but I got four stars.'