Child's School Report Gifts

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

Proud Mum.

'That's a relief! I thought he was as thick as three planks.'

"You're a veteran, right grandpa? Maybe you can help me with my school report...what was General George Washington really like?"

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"I must be out of memory"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

'Do we have a clever son or what? He actually outsmarted a fox today!'

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

"Hello, dear. Come see what Junior learned in school today."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.

'He processed the words all by himself!'

'But I thought you would be pleased-an 'A' plus in sex education,Dad!'

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

"Here's my report card. If you have any questions I'll be sitting in the corner."

Olympic Pride

'I prefer to spend my time in less didactic pursuits.'

'You have vested interest in me. You should rescue yourself!'

"Here's my report card. You'll be glad to know passing math is now number one on my bucket list."

'Can you say 'try the patience of a saint' in a note from a public school?'

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

"I know my grades are straight 'Cs,' but don't I get some credit for consistency?"

"The grades aren't my fault, Mom - The school has a failure of leadership."