Child's First Report Card Gifts

"Don't you worry about me. I'll be fine, as long as you keep working."

'That's a relief! I thought he was as thick as three planks.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Mistakes were made...'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'I got an 'A' in munitions.'

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."