Scholarly Cop Gifts

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

The Giamatti era

Too big to fail

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"She's always been a quick learner."

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

When asked to show some identification,the policemen produced their badgers.

Medical Student

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'

"Yes I have an alibi. I was at home practicing ventriloquism with Mr Chuckles. Isn't that right Mr Chuckles?"

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

'I saw him go that way.'

GOOD FELLOWS

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

'This is Ferguson, one of our few unspecial agents.'