Scholarly Skipper Gifts

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

New York Sightseeing Cruises

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

Crime Prevention Seminar

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

Reading the signs of change...'Looks like this is the last day of vacation, so tomorrow it's back to school, kids...'

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'