Seminar Skipper Gifts

Crime Prevention Seminar

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'Yes, that person there...'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

Tonight's topic Ethical behavior. Personally, I let my conscience by my guide, but I do the driving!

Workplace Confidentiality.

'All right, all right, Hershman, you can go attend the 'improve your negotiating skills' seminar.'

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

The Self Esteem Seminar had really helped him.

"Alright, folks, this is the part of our seminar schedule when we take a paws... or is it 'pause'?... I'm not much for spelling."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

Henry trained himself in the 'dramatic pause'.

Communikations Semminar.

"I have come to a specific and definite conclusion about the Constitution: It's ok, I guess."

The Collective Unconscious

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'