Comedy Skipper Gifts

'Caution wet deck'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Insomnia

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

Learner Riders

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

Sailing

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

'Closer... closer...'

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

In the supermarket

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'