Conversation Skipper Gifts

'Can't we skip the chit-chat and just drink?'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

Young against old

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

Beach Bouncer

"It's a note from my mommy. She says I don't have to attend."

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

"Despite the emotion in their conversation, there seems to be a language barrier between them."

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"With your kind permission, I've taken the liberty of putting Marvin on 'mute'."