Queue Skipper Gifts

What the world is like when you are in a hurry.

Beach Bouncer

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

Young against old

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

Time-Off Coupons

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

'I'm on a great new diet -- I sleep through breakfast.'

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"I told you we had to leave earlier."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

"I identify with shorter lines."