Sing-along Skipper Gifts

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

Sleeping through new year celebrations

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

'You like that? Okay, ONE MORE TIME! The wheels on the bus go round and round!...'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

Singalong.

Crime Prevention Seminar

New York Sightseeing Cruises

Sailing

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"What do I know about opera? Well, the soloists don't like it when you join in at the top of your voice!"

'Cattle Driver.'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

Trilby - 'The Chairman'.

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."

Let's carpool karaoke!

Jolly for Jones.

'Do that to me one more time...'

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'