Sing-along Superstar Gifts

Ear, Nose & Throat. Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes. (Published originally on December 22, 2010.)

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

Will Self does karaoke

'Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. All together now!'

'You like that? Okay, ONE MORE TIME! The wheels on the bus go round and round!...'

'I don't wan't to talk - let's sing a duet!'

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

'It's for show and tell!'

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

Need money for lessons

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

Last Call of the Wild

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

'Getting old isn't so bad when you consider the only other alternative. . .'

Choir

'Don't you just love that new horse smell?'

"New Yorkie...New Yorkie..."

'Cattle Driver.'

"I'm Jo. Ban Jo."

"What do I know about opera? Well, the soloists don't like it when you join in at the top of your voice!"

Trilby - 'The Chairman'.

Carpool karaoke

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

'Do that to me one more time...'