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Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

The Giamatti era

Too big to fail

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"She's always been a quick learner."

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

Medical Student

When asked to show some identification,the policemen produced their badgers.

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

Sign by school library reads: 'Passing Lane'

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'

'I saw him go that way.'

"Yes I have an alibi. I was at home practicing ventriloquism with Mr Chuckles. Isn't that right Mr Chuckles?"

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

'This is Ferguson, one of our few unspecial agents.'