Academic Detective Gifts

'Nice essay, Tom, your cut and paste skills are beyond reproach.'

"Can you explain how your essay on cloning is an exact copy of the student's who sat next to you?!"

Eternal Student.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'I really crammed last night.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

National Academy of Sport

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

The Giamatti era

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"It seemed like a long timeout."

Art Plagiarism

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Baseball players and their qualifications.

Newton's Law and Order.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"If you would like to get to know me I'm teaching a course on me next semester."

"Terri invited me over. We're going to play doctor of humane letters."

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

Mouse with map exiting maze.

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

'Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means.'