Scentophile Pillows

"Scratch and sniff ... it smells like mimeograph paper."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Canine Scentipede

'Have you no common scents?!'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Some scents are nonsense.

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Aromatherapy for Men

"Do you smell something?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Pheromones.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'